things around here have been... kind of... difficult.
a lot has happened that has kept me from blogging and I suppose now I am ready to touch on what has been going on...
a few weeks ago the husbands mom {aka: my mother-in-law/Sly} was feeling kinda' off...
her speech, her mind, her thoughts...
so my brother {in-law} ran her up to the hospital to make sure she was alright.
Not too much worry, but definitely a little concern.
So they did a scan a found a mass. That's how they described it, anyway. Just a mass.
A 3cm mass on her brain.
So they scheduled a surgery for 2 days later to remove the mass and they ended up getting 99-100% of it out! The surgeon and the doctors were very happy {as were we}.
But the mood did shift from concern, to worry.
3 days later we got the news. Cancer. Brain Cancer. Stage IV Glioblastoma Multiforme.
Concern turned to worry, and worry turned to panic. Quickly.
I went from feeling sad, to feeling mad, to feeling like life just is NOT fair.
My kids need her.
My husband needs her.
I need her.
Luckily she moved a mile away from us so she is definitely close enough for us to be able to take better care of her, but this whole thing has left me feeling a bit deflated.
Still sad, and a little mad... but accompanied with sprinkles of "why's" and "what if's". I do know that it's not healthy to mourn the death of a person who is still alive. And it does no good for her if everyone around her is sad. So I try to be happy. Try to think of what I can do to help. Try to do for her what I would want my daughter-in-law to do for me. It's all just so sad. Isn't it strange how we all know our time here on earth is limited but yet it's still devastatingly sad when we find out someone we love will not be here forever?
I suppose I've started questioning myself. And God.
Why her? Why us? Why now?
She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, isn't overweight...
I know lot's of assholes that treat themselves and everyone around them like garbage.
Why not them?
Sad, but true. That's how I think. I'm human.
Anyway, that's what's been going on around here...
She starts chemo and radiation next week.
I hear things are about to get worse before they get better.
a lot has happened that has kept me from blogging and I suppose now I am ready to touch on what has been going on...
a few weeks ago the husbands mom {aka: my mother-in-law/Sly} was feeling kinda' off...
her speech, her mind, her thoughts...
so my brother {in-law} ran her up to the hospital to make sure she was alright.
Not too much worry, but definitely a little concern.
So they did a scan a found a mass. That's how they described it, anyway. Just a mass.
A 3cm mass on her brain.
So they scheduled a surgery for 2 days later to remove the mass and they ended up getting 99-100% of it out! The surgeon and the doctors were very happy {as were we}.
But the mood did shift from concern, to worry.
3 days later we got the news. Cancer. Brain Cancer. Stage IV Glioblastoma Multiforme.
Concern turned to worry, and worry turned to panic. Quickly.
I went from feeling sad, to feeling mad, to feeling like life just is NOT fair.
My kids need her.
My husband needs her.
I need her.
Luckily she moved a mile away from us so she is definitely close enough for us to be able to take better care of her, but this whole thing has left me feeling a bit deflated.
Still sad, and a little mad... but accompanied with sprinkles of "why's" and "what if's". I do know that it's not healthy to mourn the death of a person who is still alive. And it does no good for her if everyone around her is sad. So I try to be happy. Try to think of what I can do to help. Try to do for her what I would want my daughter-in-law to do for me. It's all just so sad. Isn't it strange how we all know our time here on earth is limited but yet it's still devastatingly sad when we find out someone we love will not be here forever?
I suppose I've started questioning myself. And God.
Why her? Why us? Why now?
She doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't do drugs, isn't overweight...
I know lot's of assholes that treat themselves and everyone around them like garbage.
Why not them?
Sad, but true. That's how I think. I'm human.
Anyway, that's what's been going on around here...
She starts chemo and radiation next week.
I hear things are about to get worse before they get better.
3 comments:
Thinking and praying for your family at these rough times. I'm so sorry you are all dealng with this! :(
ugh... thanks. it's been tough. :(
Ok I just finally read your blog after a long time. Wow this hit close to home your MIL has stage 4 of the same cancer my husband has. He is a Stage 2-3. I know all to well every ounce of emotion you guys are going through. I wish you all the best, and many prayers will be coming your way. XOXOXO
Post a Comment